Yes...that's my sweetness wrapped up all snug in momma's belly. A little over a year ago, June 26, 2010 we had a 3D ultrasound. The moment was surreal. We went as a family, the husband, my parents, his parents, my sister and one of his brothers. We all watched with our eager eyes, this sweet little bundle sticking her tongue out and playing with her feet. There were tears of happiness filling the room. The moment was amazing.
Being able to see your baby before she's entered the world is something so special I can't even describe. The feeling overwhelms you. The memory of complaining of weight gain and aches, disappear. You suddenly feel your heart melt with pride, your heart now aches because of the love you feel for this little gift you've created. You no longer think of how heavy and uncomfortable you are, but you think of her future, you wonder how you will keep this sweet little girl safe in the outside world like you've done for 9 months on the inside. You suddenly start thinking of bullies, boys, heartbreak, tears...how can you protect her form all that? How can you shield her from the outside world?
You start second guessing yourself...how will you raise her when, you yourself still has so much to learn? How can I teach her to be strong and confident, if at times I don't feel that myself? How will she know how much I love her? How will this little girl know her momma loves her with all her heart and she's everything I've dreamed of? How will I not let her down? These thoughts may seem crazy, but as a momma you live with these thoughts. You want to raise a kind, strong, friendly, confident girl...but how do you know you're doing everything right?
Only time will tell what the future holds, for now I think we're on the right path. I do believe Makena knows she loved. She's learning to be kind and share, and give hugs and kisses.
A little over a year ago...I couldn't imagine when the little lady was 10 months...that seemed a life time away. But it's here. She's not in my belly and I don't have to view her through an ultrasound. I have her here to snug with and share my heart and fill her world with love. It's my job to raise her and teach her right from wrong. It's my job to be a strong momma and be her role model. I need to protect her, but at the same time give her space to explore the world and experience it...