Wednesday, July 23, 2014

mini golf...




Have you ever mini golfed with a three and a half year old?

Boy oh boy...what an interesting adventure to say the least...

It starts off with excitement and having absolutely no concept of what the heck golf is. Lot's of smiles. "Ohhhh look at this cool ball mom..." Then within minutes....pure frustration sets in...on both our parts.



There we're lots of smiles...and there was lots of golfing...Or attempting to golf...We spent A LOT of time at each hole...and we might have skipped a few... shhhhhh....and there may have been a lot of sitting as well...


For her and I....


But there was lots of bonding...We're good at that. She can test my patience and push my buttons...but man the love we have for each other...it's the good stuff. The best stuff.


I'm not too sure golf is either one of our games... 


But it sure was fun...


And we'll be heading back soon...

Or maybe later...

XO

Dani






Thursday, July 17, 2014

mother's day....


Happy Mother's Day to you....two months ago. Sorry about that.  Leave it to me to be behind on all the good moments. I get caught up in the big, happy, memory making moments. I lock them up in my big ol' momma heart when I should be documenting the days, the moments, the details. 



So yes, Mother's Day happened...the day after my birthday actually. So we celebrated indeed.  We celebrated me being a momma, her momma...


We packed up a picnic and headed to San Francisco's Bakers Beach for sun, fun, ocean and views for days. My sister joined in on the day and made it that much more perfect.



Life as a momma isn't easy, kids challenge you, you challenge yourself. You second guess everything, you wonder if you're every move is the right move. Nothing ever seems perfect....but it's perfect enough. There are melt downs about brushing teeth and bedtime...but there are smiles and out of the blue "I love you's," there are challenging moments but there are even better happy moments.


There are days like this day where you want it to last, where you wish you could freeze time. Where even though you ended the day with her maybe having an accident and stripping her down in the parking lot, carrying her nakey back to the car and not having a change of clothes...as stressful as it was....it was still perfect. Beyond perfect.



My life as a momma isn't sunshine and beaches...it's working two jobs and going to school, its trying my best, it's stressful and tiring. It's a constant battle of being pulled in a million directions. It's getting her dressed and her baby dolls. It's singing "Let It Go" a million times over and over and over full blast in the car. It's finding balance and finding peace...it's knowing I'm doing my best and it all doesn't have to be perfect.


So Happy Mother's Day to you...because everyday should be celebrated.

(Shirts are from Indie Nook)


Wednesday, July 2, 2014

a 30th celebrated....

That's right...

A 30th birthday was celebrated...

My 30th..
I suppose I've delayed the sharing of the 30th because it was just so simple...so easy. I've been waiting for thirty for a while...I've been excited for thirties. My twenties were just plain complicated. I got married far too young....twenty...my advise, if you ever marry...wait until you're in your thirties. Till you know who you are. I was a wife. I worked useless jobs. I owned a home. I had a baby at twenty-six and before I was twenty seven I was separated on my way to divorce. Twenty eight, divorced with a baby, first time ever being alone...I started to find who I was, who I am, at twenty eight/twenty nine...

And now I'm thirty. And happy to be thirty. 

Thirty seems like the new twenty for me. It's my time to really figure out me, what I'm about, what my passions are, where I want to be and where I'm headed. Figure out my life for me, simple as that. For me, my twenties were rushed and chaotic. I thought I had everything figured out, when in reality I  had no direction and no goals. 

Thirty is to be celebrated. Embraced. I don't see it as a negative thing in any way. I have so many positive things in my life at the moment and a future with goals and direction...all because I've chosen to find myself.

The day it's self was celebrated indeed...with the little person that calls me momma. It was perfect. 



We painted.



We chatted.


We laughed.


 And we made memories.


The day was celebrated in a good way.

I've been thirty for a little over a month now...and I'm loving it.

Happy thirtieth to me. Embrace it.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

makena, you're extraordinary....


Experiencing life through your eyes is the best gift...you're the best gift I could have ever dreamed up.  You're passionate and caring, Sweet and sassy. Your personality is huge...sometimes bigger than you. You're a tiny dreamer with the biggest dreams. I hope you always dream. I hope you always have dreams and chase them. Be a doctor, be a princess, be a momma, be you, because you are extraordinary. You've taught me to reach beyond my comfort zone, your tiny self has given me so much strength and motivation, I only hope that when you grow up you do this and so much more for yourself. Seeing you grow and become the little person you're meant to be is so special, seeing you form friendships and build relationships is exactly what a momma wants to see. You're a special little soul with a caring heart. You're sensitive like me...and that's what makes you, you. You're curious and cautious. Adventurous and shy. You laugh and you light up my day. Conversations with you are ongoing and some of the best conversations I could possibly have. I hope you're always appreciative of the little things and always have an understanding of how things are earned and given. Watching you learn, develop and grow is my proudest accomplishment. Teaching you little things and teaching you big things...it's exactly what a momma strives for....it's what I live for.


Makena...you're extraordinary. You're amazing. You're perfect and you're mine...

A video for you....

What makes your kid extraordinary isn’t just the epic stuff. It’s the little things. The small moments that maybe only you see — and quietly celebrate every day.

Share your love, hope and pride for your extraordinary kid by creating a personalized video that captures what makes them one-of-a-kind.

“Your kid is extraordinary. Show them how much you enjoy every moment together by creating a special video of your own!"


I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls Collective and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

Friday, May 16, 2014

a recap...

Remember the days when I used to blog daily? 

Me either. Sadness. I actually miss it. So lets all come back to this place, shall we? Good...let start. 

The other day I was catching up on a few blogs that I follow and Jenny from Story Of My Life, did a post of life currently in bullet point format...I liked that. So this is how I'll east back into my blogging, after all, it's been over a month since my last post...lot's has happened in our little world.

First...

This is us:

-That was on Easter in Sacramento, we had brunch on the Delta King. Egg hunts at home. Good day.
-I finished my first quarter of college...did you know?
-Now I'm in my second quarter...crazy how that works.
-I switched from night school to days and I got two new jobs. Yes, two.
-So, I never have a day off. That's a lot of fun.
-I did Tough Mudder.
-I learned after doing Tough Mudder that I'm not in shape and I'm more terrified of water than I thought.
-So I've started working out again...Thanks Tough Mudder.
-Little lady got bangs. I die....so cute.
-She has little preschool friends...it's the sweetest thing ever. I see my future with a teenager, surrounded by a bunch of very dramatic, chatty girls...help me.
-She learned how to write her name. Beyond awesome. 3.5=genius.
-Mother's Day was celebrated. In San Francisco. At the beach. Perfect.
-I turned 30.
-Yes, 30....the BIG 30. How'd that happen? Whoa.
-I celebrated the day with my little girly, pottery painting, dinner and snugs. It was good. Really good.
-Life is good. Busy. Productive. Good.


Here's to more blogging.

Happy Friday...Have a fab weekend.

Friday, April 4, 2014

exhausted...

Do you know what exhaustion really feels like? I thought I did...you know that "newborn" stage where you loose track of which day it is, when you showered last, if you ate or when you slept last? 

Ya...I remember those days. I feel like I'm back there...hence the lack of blog posts for the last month.


^^ That's an old photo because I thought I looked cute, refreshed....now a days...I'm looking like a hot mess. If you follow me on Instagram you can get in on the hot mess action...@newlife88

I've been BUSY. I know everyone uses the word busy like it's going out of style, but since starting school...which by the way was a mid-quarter start up---what's normally 11 weeks is jammed into 5 weeks ,I've been going crazy. Next week is my last week of the quarter then I'll have a week off before going back...but I've switched to days...this night school stuff is nuts. After working all day, trying to spend some time with my girly, rushing to class until 10pm...I just can't do it.

I'm exhausted.

On top of that craziness...I quit my job and started training this week for a new one! I'm going back to hair...

It's all very exciting. So many changes. So many good things coming my way.

I'm exhausted but I'm excited!


Thursday, March 6, 2014

the beginning of my new life...

Ironically my blog is named "Me and My "new" Life" I've tattooed "new life" on my arm...I'm constantly trying to live this new life I've struggled with for the past three years. 

I say struggle loosely. 

When I look back on everything that has happened over the last three years, my struggles are nothing compared to others.  I've had support, I've had a job, I've had money, I've had my child, we've had our health and we have love. Lots to be thankful for...and I am. But the last three years---a baby, divorce, debt, moving, a car accident, moving to a new city, struggling to find a job, moving back...all while being a mother...that's a lot for one person to take on. Those are my struggles. Among those struggles I've struggled with fear. Fear of taking a chance, fear of chasing a dream, fear of trying something new...

Fear of failing.

This is where the beginning of my new life starts---

I've enrolled in SCHOOL! COLLEGE! Yes, I can proudly say I'm a college student at Heald, studying to be a Medical Assistant with plans at not stopping there...but that chapter of this story will come another day. One dream at a time...

It's COLLEGE:



I replay the last three years over in my head a lot. What could I have done differently, am I doing everything right now? I can sit and wonder and stress myself out with the past or I can put the past behind me and live in the now.  I don't want to say I've wasted the last three years because I've been doing the most important job ever imaginable...I've been a mother. But in the bigger picture, I've wasted a ton of time all because of that one powerful word: 

FEAR.

I'm terrified of failing...failing more than I already have---although you may not look at me or my life as a person that's failing, to each their own, I know I'm capable of much more than I have been doing over the last three years. I've been in a standstill. I haven't wanted to jump in fear of getting no where, the fear of trying and failing, simple as that.

But I've finally realized---

The easiest way to fail is to never begin.


A few weeks ago I was at a girlfriend's house, the kids were playing and we were catching up on life, chatting about what's new. It was just like any other time...until she looked at me and said, "I think you should go to school, I'll help you if you need it." That simple normal, conversation, changed things for me quickly. I've had many people tell me I should do this or that, but somehow this was different. She knows my story, she knows my situation, she knows it won't be easy and she knows I'm scared of taking steps to improve on things...or even starting college after being out of school for 12 years. But the fact that she took the time and offered help if I ever needed it...somehow that made my decision for me. I have a support system weather it's family or friends. I know people want me to succeed just as much as I do. I'm not sure if she even knows how much that conversation in her kitchen meant to me or how much I appreciate her offer...but she helped change my outlook on my future. 

A few days later I was enrolled in college. 


The beginning of my new life started on Monday March 3, 2014. 

I decided to let go of fear. I'm realizing I'm not the only one to ever return to college after being out of school for a million years. It's ok to ask for help with my daughter and not feel guilty for wanting to better life for myself and her. It's amazing to chase a dream no matter how hard it will be or what challenges I may face. 

I've wanted to go back to school for a very long time, I just believed it was impossible. 

How can a single mother that works full time go to college? 

The exact same way I am, you just do it and everything else will fall into place.


I'm here to tell you:

If I can do it, you can too.

Yes, I'm scared out of my mind. Yes, I'm only three days in and I've already questioned if I made the right choice.  I've already felt the guilt of needing more help with my daughter. I've already wondered how am I possibly going to work, go to school and raise a child? How am I going to find the balance...

I don't have the answers, but I know I'm not alone. I know I'm not the only almost 30 year old single mom that works full time that was taken on college...and I won't be the last.

Neither will you.


 I decided to go back to school for myself. For my daughter.

That's all.

Although I've had a million thoughts of  wanting to prove people wrong who have ever doubted me, but they're not important. What's important is my future with my daughter. My future career. My new life.

If I've learned anything over the last three years it is:

Life keeps going.

You're the only one who can make a change.

I encourage you to step out of your comfort zone, get out of your fearful bubble. Chase that dream big or small...

If I can do it, you can too...

Xo,

Dani