I got it...
Oh boy do I.
I used to have it along time ago and was treated for it.
It would come in waves.
I'd panic.
Breath deeply. And hope for the best.
Then...
I'm not sure what caused it.
Now.
I know.
I can't get a hold of my life.
I have no clue where I'm going, I have no direction.
I'm being told to end a mariage that I do not want to end.
I spent the last 11 years loving.
The last year being dragged around.
I know I deserve better.
But I don't know what better is.
I don't like struggling.
But I am.
I don't like being scared.
But I am.
I hate being,
Sad.Angry.Hurt.Fearful.
But I am.
All I wanted was to love.
And I did.
I panic. I can't catch my breath. I sweat. I shake. I feel numbness from my fingers to my toes.
It's awful.
And it's caused by love and heart break.
