apartment living

I hate it.

Tonight....this was me:

Yes...I pulled out the mop and banged on my ceiling. Definitely not my proudest moment. But COME ON! 

9:00 at night...little boy please stop jumping. You're NOT Superman. And really...why aren't you sleeping? 

Have I mentioned I HATE living in an apartment? YES, I'm lucky to have a place to call home for myself and my daughter. I am thankful I'm able to provide and my my bills for myself and my Buggy. I'm PROUD I'm doing it on my own. 

BUT...

I grew up in a house...on a street with kids, a backyard...room to roam.

When I was 18 I moved out to an apartment with the husband (then boyfriend), cute little one bedroom apartment...UPSTAIRS. Living on my own, with my love was exciting. Learning to do everything on our own was fun. After a year of "renting" we decided to move in with the husband's parents to save money to eventually buy. In this year we got engaged and married...three months later in late 2005, top of the housing boom we bought what we could afford. A tiny condo....UPSTAIRS. 

Housing boom crashed, I'm pregnant, rental came up...HUGE HOUSE, perfect place to raise the little lady. We planned lots of things in that house. Huge yard...front and back. Three rooms, two bathrooms, two living rooms...so much space. I liked living there. It had the potential to be a perfect home for my family. I miss living there. I wish I was there instead of here.

I don't care about owning a home...would I like to own again one day? Yes. But that's not what is important to me. I want a home for my daughter. I want her to have the experiences that I had as a kid. I want to play outside with her, I want to be able to take the trash out without having to worry about her. I want to be able to run to the car or do laundry inside my own house. What about walking the dog...yes we have a dog. Living in an apartment isn't fair to him either. Oh, yes when the dog needs to go out...the little gets strapped in the baby carrier and we clunk around the complex. It's a struggle. 

So, apartment living, not for me. My lease is up NEXT August. Hopefully something will pan out for the Bugs and I, because this is NOT the life I planned for her or what I dreamed for her. She deserves so much....