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Friday, November 11, 2011

REALITY CHECK ... MONEY

I hate to be a person who complains about money, everyone struggles with money. Rich people, poor people, married people, singles...even single mothers.

I'm a single mother and I'm struggling with money.

I'm going to be completely honest with you all here. This is my journal and I want to look back at this one day knowing I've overcome this moment. Knowing I came out of this. Currently, Makena's dad and I are working on things but, until we are 100% and everything is fine and dandy....I'm a single mom. (He does give me money monthly.)

Makena and I moved out to our own apartment in June. It's not ideal. It's what I could afford on my own and it has two bedrooms....but it's not how I imagined my life with a baby. My rent is $1071 per month. I've chosen to not have cable...one being I get sucked into TV and two being I just can't afford it. I do have internet. Other than that I have PG&E. I work full time making $15 a hour...I've stretched every penny I make to go a long way. But it doesn't go quite as far as I'd like. I could and should look for a better paying job, but right now this works well with being a mom, it's flexable and fits my needs with Makena. Before I moved out I started looking into getting assistance being a single mom. I qualified for WIC. Formula was expensive and I didn't have the income in order to purchase it. Currently I am still on WIC. It helps with milk, cereal, diary...I hate using it.



It's available for people in my situation but I hate going in and using these. But it's helpful and if I can eventually come out better because of it...then so be it.

I rarely go grocery shopping, I go for the basics. When I do shop, I try and buy in bulk to make it go further. I cook dinner as much as I can and bring lunch. I do let myself splurge every once in awhile, I won't say I've cut out Starbucks or eating out occasionally.

After that my money goes to the credit card debt I have...yes I have it...a lot.

 I've recently taken all of my credit cards out of my wallet and I strictly use the cash I have left after I pay bills.

Which usually looks like this...

It's November 11 and I've got $3.93 to my name. The husbands money will hit my account on Monday my next payday is not until the 16th. The account that has $500 is my rent account and each check I transfer half my rent into it. The account with $100 is an account for Makena (she has others that are not connected directly to my everyday accounts.) Then there is my savings account with $.78. I will not lie I do have a small 401k set up and also an ING account that is my "back up...oh shit" account. I also have my PayPal that has my Etsy, Ebay or any other online income I may receive. But in the end....it's not enough.

But we survive...I'm hoping that I can dedicate more time to my etsy shop and some people really make Ebay work for them..who knows...as long as my sweets has a roof over her head, food in her belly and love in her heart...we're good...

Ohhhh....and today I went to look at day care....do you know how expensive that is?? I've been blessed with my parents watching Makena but with her growing and becoming more active I'd like her to start socializing and learning what it's like to be with kids and all that....but for now it's out of the question...... one week...ONE WEEK...is $350....as you saw above...just not doable.

Whew...there you have it...

I make it work...being a single mom is extremely hard...being a parent with or without a partner and with money or without it is hard...but we make do and we move forward in the best way we know how...

I'm doing my best for today.

15 comments:

Jennifer said...

I know in Oregon they have day care assistance through the state. Have you looked into that? I was a single mother (with no child support) for almost 2 years. I know what that's like..

Single Mom said...

I can relate to this!! I too struggle with paying bills. I've considered WIC but I'm not yet divorced and don't think I'd qualify. My soon to be ex husband does not give me a cent to help support our child. I know it's hard but I have hope that things will get better. Thank you for sharing this. It let's the rest of us know we are not alone.

Steph said...

if I had any $ I would share it with you friend.

Yesi Audrina said...

hi there my name is yesi, and I just want to let you know that I love your mommy blog. I totally love this post.

Heliotrope Tree House said...

Such a brave post. You approach a subject that is on many hearts, I'm sure. I know as a single mom with a full-time "professional" job as a teacher, I do not qualify for assistance of any kind. My daughter's father does not work, has not worked and so I get pretty much "chump change" from his (fraudulent) unemployment payments. I had to take out a loan just to move across town last year and usually my accounts look like yours. But as you said, me and my girl have a nice roof over our heads, good food in our bellies and plenty of love. It's still hard not to look around at others...couples with children who have their own homes, nice cars, vacations, etc. Sigh...Thank you for this post. Just, thank you.

Georgie Horn said...

Gurl, I was in your shoes 20 years ago. Me and my brown eyed girl lived in the projects, collect food stamps and welfare and I hated it too. We have to do what we have to do...I'm in YOUR corner! You can do it!

Maybe you can find another source of income, is there anyway you could do some PT work at home, my friend worked for Eddie Bauer at home being a customer service rep. You could do it for a few hours after Mekenna goes to bed? Sending you positive single mommy vibes!

PS. We went without cable for 15 years....
hugs ya!

Georgie Horn said...

And one more thing, my little brown eyed girl grew just fine...here's a cute blog
http://georgie-hornpuddinnpie.blogspot.com/2011/07/summer-of-colorbrown.html

Sharmia said...

very honest post

Shannon said...

Very honest post, thank you for sharing your story. You are a wonderful Mommy and your blog shows this. It will get better, hang in there! I love reading your blog.

Fay said...

Thanks for sharing your post! You are very brave! This is something so many people can relate to...myself included. I am not a single mother, but we are struggling as well. Just have faith and in all things and lean on God at all times. He will provide, even if it is not how we wanted it to be :)

Lindy said...

I have no idea about your situation, but I remember being on WIC. My hubby was in school, we decided to have a baby, and our bank account kind of looked like yours. You will come out on top of that. You will be a better person for it and you are doing your best. It's there to help people like you who are working hard and doing the best for their kids! Good luck to you!

Dinithi said...

Thank you so much for this post! I am a single momma in new zealand :) and the honesty of this hit a nerve.

www.onetoughlittlesquirt.wordpress.com

Salena @ A Little Piece of Me said...

I I found you through Three's 4 Me Small Business Month link up.

I can relate to your money situation. We are going through the same thing with only being able to buy the necessities and even then we come up short. We are a family of 5. We have 3 little girls, my husband works full time and gets paid very well but I am a stay at home mom.

I'm not sure what the rules are for WIC in other states but here in Hawaii they go by income. We qualify and it helps a lot. Also, if your child is medically deficient in any way you automatically qualify. WIC is different from welfare. Do not be ashamed. These programs including welfare are set up for situations like yours.

I appreciate you sharing this and wish you the best.

I also have 3 older adult kids and I was a single mom with them when they were very young. I know how scary it can be. I'm lucky I had the help and support of my parents but I made use of all the resources that were available to me for my kids sake.

I'm a new follower and looking forward to reading more.

Salena

Salena @ A Little Piece of Me said...

Hahaha, I guess I"m not a new follower. :)

Kiri said...

I found your blog through the wiegands...just wanted to tell you I love this post. You're brave for putting everything out there, and I admire you for that! In blog land, it's so easy to think that people have it all so easy...this makes things a lot more real. Good luck with everything, I hope it all works out for your and your family.

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