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Saturday, December 17, 2011

who am i...

I'm asking myself this a lot lately...

Who am I?

I don't know the answer.

I've never had to really find myself. I went from being a child and teenager living with my parents, to moving out at 18 with my boyfriend...who eventually became my husband.

I chose to grow up at 18...I felt I was ready.
I decided to take on responsibilities. A home. Bills. Job. You know...The grown up stuff.

I was engaged at 19, married at 20 and owned a home at 21.

My focus was being an adult. Loving. Being a partner. I loved that life. Taking care of him, our home, bills, cooking, cleaning...I didn't mind it.

But besides from being a wife...who was I...who am I?

At 25 I became pregnant...26 a mom.

A wife...a mom....That's who I was.

But that was taken from me...the joy of being a wife and a mom was taken.

Right now...I'm still a "wife" but not really...this situation is FAR from ideal. It's pretty crummy.

But...

I am still a mom...that's fantastic.

I love being a mom. I live and breath for my child....as does any mother. The fact that my marriage crumbled shortly after having her, in a way...she saved me.

She's my heart. She's made me stronger than I've ever imagined.

Take away being a wife and a mother....

Who is Dani??

I'm searching for myself. Who I want to be...

While I search...I'll be a momma....

3 comments:

Heliotrope Tree House said...

Wow. Girl, I give you a lot of credit for this post. It is so needed in our world...to ask this question, "Who am I?" I had the same question after my relationship with my daughter's father fell began to crumble while I was pregnant. Good news is, we are constantly evolving and changing as people. None of us stay the same...as our life experiences are constantly changing and thus, shaping us. You are your daughter's mom forever...and you are YOU. Thank you for this today.

Jill said...

It seems as though God forces us to find ourselves - through time alone. This January will be my one year divorce anniversary, and it's actually quite shocking what I've learned about myself this past year. You will too. Everyday is still hard. Being single is hard. It does however, force us to love ourselves and appreciate what we DO have, rather than focus on what's been taken away. You will become stronger than ever before. Have a wonderful day pretty girl!

Kiara Buechler said...

It's been a few days since you posted, so I tagged you in my blogpost today, your readers miss you! Tag, you're it! http://buechlerbeat.blogspot.com/

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