Pages

Monday, January 30, 2012

failure...

I'm having a tough time these days.

I feel like I've failed.
I failed at my marriage.
I failed my husband. My daughter. Myself.

I know I didn't.
But when someone you love tells you they want it to end.
You can't help but blame,
Yourself.


I've replayed my entire eleven year relationship in my head.
Over and Over.
Five plus of those years we were married.

I wonder if it was because I was so young.
Did I not love enough.
Did I not give enough.

But I did.

I loved with everything I had.
I still am loving.
He knows it and I know it.

Marriages take work. Patience. Love. Understanding.
I did all that.

I didn't fail.


He chose to leave me when I needed him the most.

He chose to fail.

14 comments:

Georgie Horn said...

My heart goes out to you. Have you ever heard of the book: "Failing Forward?" Maybe that would be appropriate to read now. Heal my bloggy friend....

Ashley said...

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. :(

Steph said...

yes, he failed you and makena NOT the other way around. keep your head up- you know i am here if you need it!

Sarah said...

Way to turn it around, girl! You got it right. You're in the right, and you are doing such a good job of being strong for your little girl! Team Mommy!

Salena @ A Little Piece of Me said...

This breaks my heart. I can relate to the feeling you're having, not in a marriage but a very long term relationship with kids.

I love the last 2 sentences, it's the truth!

Anonymous said...

keep your head up. xx

Lynn said...

Hey there, just found your blog. So sorry to hear of your situation but good for you for keeping a positive attitude!!! Your little girl is adorable!!

Jill said...

God has someone SO much better in mind for you girl. He's just giving you a chance to love yourself!!!
xoxo!!! Jill

Faith said...

you are so right. he chose to fail. you didn't fail.

Just the Two of US said...

don't blame yourself, if you loved with all you had... that is always enough... Your prince charming is out there. I was with mine for 9 years.. lesson learned, don't ever feel like you failed!

Tutuland said...

So sorry this is happening to you. You didn't fail- He failed. Marriage is alot of work. Its too bad he chose to give up on you and your family. You will be the winner in all of this. Trust me ~ be a good mommy and you will always be fulfilled.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I feel like I wrote that post-my husband left me when our little guy was 6 months old. I wanted to continue to make things work and he said he didn't have it in him and believed he would be a better father to our son outside of the marriage...I guess that would depend on what his definition of a good father is. I am going through the same journey you are. Feel free to email if you need an ear :)

Kate Giovinco Photography said...

Hang in there it does get better. You didn't fail, you gave it your all. And really you would be failing if you stayed in an unhealthy marriage.

Katie said...

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I honestly have no words. I can't imagine what that would be like at such a vulnerable time.

 photo envye.jpg
envye blogger theme