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You guys still there....It's me:

How the heck are ya? Me...I'm doin'. I'm still kickin...

I've lost all motivation for anything these days...except the loveliness of being a momma.

When I last left off I mentioned that my sweet girl started daycare....whew. I actually felt like she was going to "school." The first few days were a breeze. Chick was diggin' it. Could care less that I was leaving...didn't even turn a cheek. That lasted about a week. Now it's cling to the life of me, full on tears...complete heart break for this momma. The teachers tell me it's normal for some kids. They'll grow out of it. Uhhhh...when? It only usually last from the time the teacher unlatches her from me to the time I get to the front door...but over all...it's awful. She just wants to be with her momma. I'm her safe place. My mind often brings myself to the thoughts of..."Does this have to do with the fact that her dad left? Is this because we're getting divorced? Does she think everyone is going to leave her?" Awful thoughts right? I'm not sure what it is...but I hate it. I wish so badly I could be with her all the time. Protect her. Never leave her. But that's not OUR reality. She actually did it every once in a while at my parent's house as well...so maybe it's just her...and I mean, who wouldn't want to hang out with me all the time anyways...right? Also, I was exactly like that as well...my parents couldn't peel me off of them, and I'm pretty sure her dad was like that too. Lord...it's a terrible feeling though. So the wonderful thing about daycare...this daycare actually, it's about eight minutes from my house and about two minutes from my work...hello...I get HOME at like 5:30 these days...No more driving 15 minutes each way in the morning and like 30 minutes or more at night stuck in traffic. It's MAGICAL. So, so far so good on the daycare business...minus the tears. But she needed to start socializing (obviously) and all that good stuff that comes along with being a year and a half....

Since she's at daycare, her mood is a bit moody when we get home...I think she's so used to taking 2-4 hour naps at home and now it's maybe like an hour or so there...so she's been going to ni-ni land around 7-7:30...which has been pretty lovely for momma. Because momma has been feeling pretty drained these last few weeks and has been going to sleep herself by ummm 9ish.

The light is out and the weather is warming and we...or I've got big plans. For starters, I picked up my jogger from my parents house the other day and we will be starting to get out for walks/runs after work, since...eeehm, we're home by 5:30! I just signed up for The Color Run in Sacramento with some friends and I'm super excited! I've just gotta get my booty in gear. It's not until August, but hello....summer is right around the corner! I've gotta get my bod bathing suit ready. I have zoo trips, park trips, beach trips, all sorts of inexpensive trips for us planned. I'm also looking into signing the Bug up for gymnastics...CUTE. And swimming lessons....ahhhh LOVE!

Also, I want to make our little patio a little play spot for her...that's a project in it's self. Spring cleaning is up at the top of our list. I sadly went last weekend and sold a TON of her baby stuff...because I'm not seeing a little one in the near future...or future for that matter. I'm ok with that. I've made peace. I obviously ALWAYS wanted two kids...and I NEVER wanted to have an only child. But for now, this is our path. I'm not a big fan of HUGE age gaps and really...I don't want to be raising kids all my life...so, we shall see I suppose.

On top of the spring cleaning and what not I've got to get back to my oh so lovely blog. I love blogging. Really I do. It's TRULY helped with my life...it's a release. On top of blogging I want to get my shop back in order....because...duh, a few extra bucks help. Being creative is a release for me...I've just got to start, manage my time, not be so LAZY! (Does being a single, full time working, full time mom really fit into the lazy category...lol.)

Anywho... That's a little sum up of my life...The divorce is still going on, things in that area are a bit off, if you can imagine. But it's life...