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Tuesday, November 22, 2011

nights like these...

I wish I had a partner.

Tonight was hard.

 Leaving work at 5:30 only to hit insane traffic turning a normal 15 minute drive into a 45 minute traffic jam, leaving this momma in full on rage mode.

Get chick...Leave with chick in rage mode as well...these days she's not liking leaving Nonie and Opa's house...Thanks kid.

Grocery night...My WIC check is expiring tomorrow...that would be like throwing away money this momma don't got...(this momma doesn't have...I know, I know.) So, I race through the store, I gather what I can get with my WIC check and the odds and ends to get my by, only to get to the register and realize I can't find my ATM card. I pray that the cash I do have covers it or I'd have to be that person that says, "can you take that off, and that, and that...ok...now I can pay." UGH. Chick is going crazy wanting to get the heck outta there so I hand her the WIC shopping guide to be entertained...sweet...let's announce it to the world, "momma buys my food with WIC."

It's 7:30 I load the kid and the groceries into the car, which by the way already looks like we live in. I drive 20 minutes back home...remember we live in apartment so I need to run back and forth between my car and the front door dropping loads off. Finally I plop Bug down inside the house and haul everything into the house from the door...unload while muti-tasking as I cook dinner. A simple dinner...a can of soup. We do it big around here. Little usually loves soup...tonight not interested in dinner at all. Sweet.

Bath...she loves her bath. New thing is standing in the top and me saying a million times, "Makena sit, sit Makena, You better sit before you fall, good girl..." Bath over, jammies on while she kicks and whines because she's overly tired.

9:00 she's in bed...way best her bed time...I finally sit down only to write this and do a million other things only to go to bed and do it all again tomorrow...

***

I have no idea what it would be like to have a partner here, helping, taking some of the burden of my shoulders. On the days spent with the husband...it's truly lovely. Being able to run to the store and take my time without a screaming toddler. Being able to cook dinner while she's entertained by someone other than myself. Or..Oh...gasp, having dinner cooked for me. What about being able to sit my booty on the floor and really play with my chick while someone other than myself is cleaning the last mess she made. Ahhhh, that life sounds dreamy. Of course I'm a kick ass single mom who gets it done...but oh...help...how lovely is that 4 letter word...help.

9 comments:

Annie@Letters to Mo said...

I watched my 8 month old son alone for a few weeks while my husband was away and I had never been so tired, so done in, so just exhausted in my life. Everything was revolved around prepping. And there was NEVER any downtime. My lunch breaks I would run home to clean and get everything ready for the night. After he went to bed I would be folding laundry and scrubbing the toilet and taking care of the pets. It was exhausting beyond belief. It was also just hard doing it alone. No one to be your cheerleader, no one to share the joys with. I'm sorry, this is depressing me so I'm sure it's depressing you....That being said, you are doing an amazing job and we do the best we can with the circumstances we've been given. The plus side is you get to make all the decisions yourself and run the show the way you want. And help isn't relegated to just husbands. Ask for help wherever you can get it.

Shiloh said...

I just wanted to say I LOVE that you have to keep telling your daughter to sit down in the tub. I love bathtime except for that part. Lol, apparently standing in the tub is pretty par for the course.:)

Steph said...

cyber hugs friend. I am writing Santa a strongly worded letter about delivering up a helping hand this holiday season!

Shannon :: The Scribble Pad said...

every situation is so unique, so differnt. thanks for sharing how important it is to be willing to ask for help, even when it is difficult!

Shannon :: The Scribble Pad said...

oh dear! what a mix of good and bad. hope you enjoy snuggeling with you new puppy over the thanksgiving break!

5ohWifey said...

You are such an inspiration. I know it is NOT the same for me, but it is stressful when 5ohHubby works and is gone 3 days in a row. I can't imagine how you do it all by yourself. Way to go, mama! You really are kickass

The Pettijohn's said...

More cyber hugs. I could not imagine doing what you have to.

jessca said...

i love your blog and i hope you get some help...but i dont understand what the big deal about using WIC is, like why act like its bad and try and hide it. it helps you save money so you can use it for more important things for your daughter, how is that so embarrassing? and it makes it sound like you look down on all us moms who also use WIC and other government help...wth

Jill said...

I found your blog on follower fest. The name of your blog and your cute face pulled me in. Wow...how I can relate! I'm a single mom of a three year old son, divorced one year, on WIC (and I feel the SAME way in the grocery store), dinners are similarly simple, and days are similarly exhausting. I work everyday to be a better person and be happy with where I am at in my life, but some days are really hard. Really freakin' hard and lonely. Honestly, you are the first blog I've read that I can relate too. Just know that I know how hard it is. I am praying for you and I will be following your journey.
-Jill
www.jillyandjax.com

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