a memory...

Tonight I was rocking my girl before bed and the sweetest memory came over me. It goes back to the newborn days of Makena. You know, when you think, "this moment is the hardest day of my life." When you've been with a fussy baby all day and you still need to cook dinner and clean the house and hopefully have a nice quite evening with your husband.

My memory tonight was a fussy Makena...the husband got home from work, he'd push Makena in her swing while holding her paci from falling out. I cooked dinner, she'd peacefully calm down and fall asleep. He and I could relax for a moment, eat dinner all while we'd both stare at our little girl. She'd wake and he'd take her, put a pillow in his lap with her laying on that and rock her back and forth...she'd calm again. I'd feed him bites of his dinner as he'd rock our girl. I'd clean up and we'd then take turns bouncing and pacing up and down a dark hallway all while rubbing her face along her nose and over to her eyebrows. Somehow that was her magic sleepy spot. She'd drift away and we'd lay her down as soft as we possibly could and sneak out of the room...finally a moment to sit, be still and stare at each other with amazement that we again, got through this day.

Moments like these only lasted about two months...but oh, those moments...what I'd do to go back to those days where besides a fussy baby my life was perfect. A home, a husband, a healthy baby and a little dog...those days, those moments were perfect...and taken far too early....