out with it...

I took a moment out for myself this weekend.

Took a walk...caught up on my thoughts.

Took in the fresh air.

I had a lot to think about. 

I HAVE a lot to think about.

My thoughts brought me to who I am...

WHO AM I?

Since 16 I was half of someone.

I never knew myself separate from being part of someone else.

I lived for 11 years putting someone else first,

their thoughts, feelings, heart.

All before my own.

Now it's me.

I'm learning...

I speak too soon.

I worry.

I get lost in my thoughts.

I'm sensitive and I struggle.

I smile more. I laugh often.

I love easy. I love hard.

I forgive far too fast.

I want commitment. But not marriage. 

Passion. Excitement. 

I want to live in the moment. 

Now. 

No regret.

I want to be strong. Independent.

Be an example for my daughter.

I'm putting myself out there more. 

Taking chances. 

Opening up. 

Saying how I feel in the moment.

Sometimes it works. 

But sometimes it doesn't.

I have moments of 

"oh shit what did I just say...what did I just do."

But it's what was right in that time.

I learn. Move on.

It's who I am.

I don't want to cheat myself of a thought. A feeling. Of words.

Life is too short. 

You can miss moments because you're not yourself. 

Be open. Ask for what you want. Express. 

Act on emotion.

You can't change your path. You can't control what happens. 

You can only hope for the best. 

I won't change my heart. 

Searching for yourself is strange. 

Not knowing what's right.

What's wrong.

It's weird. 

Being accepted for yourself, not half of someone else. 

Being you.

Find yourself.

It's a lesson. A challenge. 

I'm searching. 

So far I like what I'm finding....