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Monday, January 9, 2012

woosh....

Just like that your time is gone...

I've been seeing a lot of posts about time management and finding balance between real life vs. blog life...how to fit blogging into life without it letting it take over your life. Tonight, I came across this post posted by one of my all time favorite bloggers, Elizabeth at E Tells Tales. 

Considering the way my life unfolded, I can't compare my situation to a stay at home mother...or to anyone for that matter...

I am a full time working single mother...

My time is spent rushing around in the morning, let's face it...this momma loves her sleep. I hit snooze a million times before I really awake up. Then, once I get up it's a mad dash to get myself and chick ready and out the door. 

But in the rush of it all, I manage to sneak in snugs with my girl. I'll bring her into my room while I get dressed and we'll "chat." In the bathroom we'll brush our teeth, and as I get coffee she'll get milk. 

No...
It's not always like that. 
Some days I won't get her out of her bed until I'm totally ready.

It's a lot of work being alone.

Work is 9-5:30.
I drop her off by 8:30 and I don't get back to her until 6:00

9.5 hours away from her.
I hate it. 

In my married life the plan was always for me to work, so not working wasn't really an option. We talked about part time and such, but life crumbled so quickly I knew I'd be working.

When we get home I cook dinner and she plays..
She'll wonder into the kitchen and I'll take moments to chat or play with whatever she's brought me.

We eat together.
Play.Bath.Snugs.Bed.

From the time we get home to the time she is put into bed, I try to focus on her, minus the time spent cooking dinner. 

I don't have cable, we do have nextflix streaming but I rarely turn it on. 

What I'm trying to say here is maybe in away I'm thankful for being a single mother. 
I hate having to be away from her during the day while I work, but that would be the case even if I was married. 

Being a single mother is the hardest thing I've ever done.

But knowing it's just her and I...
Knowing I may not be able to give her the "things" she may have gotten if my marriage worked I feel I need to make up for it with time.

Time for...
More love.More snugs.More play.More laughs.
more.more.more.

My dishes wait, my messes wait.

The internet waits.

My blog waits.

I've wasted far too much time and energy arguing with the husband...
Time and energy that should have been focused on my sweet little girl. 

Maybe if I never was a single mother...
Maybe if I was a stay at home mom...
Maybe if I was a full time working mother with a husband...
I would have missed the time I choose to spend and focus on my daughter...

I know I'm not cheating her out of the small amount of time we have together by focusing on things that can wait until after she's asleep. 

I love my blog and I love my readers...
But I love how I've chosen to spend my time.
Baby first...everything else, 
later.




12 comments:

Kate Sparkles said...

That's beautiful. Sometimes it's the hardest things that make us better in the long run.. you might not be the kind of Mom you expected to be, because it seems like you're even better. I really admire anyone who puts their bubs before anything else..

shools26 said...

Your post really puts things in perspective. I am often distracted by the tv, cellphone, etc. when my focus should be on my baby boy. It really is about quality time over quantity. Tomorrow i'll be sure to put the phone, turn off the tv and be present. Thank you!

Steph said...

this was beautiful Dani. The most precious gift we can give anyone is our time... and limited or not, the fact that you give her yours, undivided will be more important than anything you could ever buy for her.. I will say that being a sahm often means not appreciating the time you have with your little one (because you have so.much.of.it) but I am going to make a conscious effort to change that today. thank you!

Anonymous said...

Hi Dani,

Just remember that one of the best gifts you'll ever give you daughter is love. Your little girl might not get all the material things that others have, but in the end it isn't the material things that really matter.

Becky

Sarah said...

Love it! Thank you for sharing! She is one lucky little girl :)

adina said...

Reading your blog makes me want to cry because I am in a personal struggle trying to make it all work (full time teacher, mom, wife and being me)Having a husband helps at times but I am having trouble dealing with the mentality that I SHOULD not need him as much as I do. I really don't know what to do at times, he is a really great dad and person but wants HIS time and when do I get mine.(he is a artist and needs to paint for exhibitons) My mom said I don't that is what moms do scarifice for their children and I do, there are so many things that I would love to do (i am a designer, I even went to fashion school)but I just don't have time and I am ok with it but I just need an outlet something so that I don't lose my mind. I love my son more than anything and I want to quit my job and be home with him everyday but right now is not the time, I am working on that, I hope you read this I just want to be able to relate to someone and someone understand me.

Ashley said...

The greatest gift that we can give our children is time and unconditional love. I have really been trying to focus more on my children and being in the moment. I am a stay at home mom but sometimes I wonder that if I worked then the time I do spend at home would probably be cherished more. I need to just change my perspective a bit. :)

Lindsay said...

Oh my gosh I just came across your blog and it touched my heart. I to am on the brink of being a single mom, and am SCARED TO DEATH!!! You and your daughter are BEAUTIFUL! Thank you for linking up :) New follower!!!

Heather B {dreaming big} said...

Being away from your little one must be tough, but good for you for doing what's gotta be done to provide a happy and healthy environment for you little one. I'm sure she soaks in every minute you spend with her.

Just the Two of US said...

I'm in your same position. I've been a single mom for 7 years. newest follower!

The Sauls said...

New follower from Casey's page! My mom and dad got divorced the summer before I went into 4th grade and my mom had to work those long 9-10 hour days, 5 days a week but looking back, I know she did it to provide for me and my brother and sister. And I know if she could have, she would have been home every single day with us, but I respect her for busting her butt to provide and putting her kids' needs before her own.

Kristine Foley @ TheFoleyFam said...

I needed to read this and remind myself to be wise with my time. Loved this post and your cute blog! Newest follower :)

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