thoughts...

I've been missing my blog life a lot lately. 

I've been a bit scared to come back, back to talking, opening up, being honest with you...

and myself.

Life has seriously been good lately. 

I'm the happiest I've been in a long time. I'm slowing starting to find myself. 

It's been a crazy search. 

A battle of some sort.

I struggle still with who I am now and who I was supposed to be. 

I always knew I wanted to be a momma.

And in a weird way with the divorce, I believe I've become an even better momma because of it.

I appreciate the work that comes with being a momma, the struggles, the exhaustion. 

I know one person counts on me, appreciates me, and loves me....

I may have looked past that if I were still married, in a partnership.

My daughter is my everything. 

Going through a divorce is weird. 

You change.

When we seperated I was 26...but in all actuality, I was still a young 16 year old girl.

I fell in love and that's all I knew. 

A sheltered life. Simple. Easy.

I knew myself only as a girl who was married.

I loved that life. 

But I've changed. 

I'm strong. Independent. 

I do for my daughter and myself. 

That's it. 

I see life for what it's worth.

I realize I'll only get as much as I put in.

And so far I'm not putting in nearly enough.

I want to take chances, make changes...

If I fail...

At least I tried. 

I owe it to myself and to her.

We deserve the world.

Life isn't easy.

I don't think it's truly easy for anyone. 

I appreciate life more now than I did when I had more.

Make sense?

Probably not...But that's what I love about MY life.

It doesn't make sense. 

None of it. 

But it's my life. And it's a good life.