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Wednesday, January 2, 2013

that one time...

That one time when that one single mom totaled her car, quit her job and packed up life with her two year old and moved away...


Oh ya...That's me and my new story.

I have been MIA for awhile while dealing with life. The last time I left off was that I got into a car accident, well over the last week they decided the damage was too much for repairs and decided to total it. For the time being I'm borrowing my parents car...but I can only borrow that for some time. I did receive a settlement amount for the total loss of the car. But being a single mom with a low paying job I'm unable to purchase a new car with payments and I definitely can't get a clunker that will end up costing me more money. So with that news and deep thought and MANY tears...

I've decided to quit my job...pack up my life...and my toddler...with no money...no job...and move a hour and a half away to live with my sister. 

Scary. This is the most difficult decision I've had to make. More difficult than divorce. But I've officially hit rock bottom. This little life, that I can't even say I'm comfortable living, has officially become too much for me. I can no longer do it on my own. Although I do have my parents here and Makena's dad and his family are here...essentially I am alone. I'm a full time working single mom and if I stay it may be awhile before I find a decent paying job close by, if I get a second job I'd never be home or with Makena so living on our own would be a waste of money. A car...I can't even come up with a number that I can afford living alone and paying bills. It's all too much.

I'm not happy about having to move and take my child away. I can't blame anyone for these decisions because this is life. My life. Divorce has done a deed on me. I always worked while married but I depended on him financially. Being thrown into a life of becoming independent and responsible for a child was doable, I struggled, but I managed. Now...I can't do it any longer. Over two years I've hit lots of bumps, I've kept going and tried to make the best of my situations...I can no longer make the best. I need help. With my sister and a friend I can get the help I need. I can get back on my feet. Get out of debt. Start school. Get help with Makena without the guilt of having to ask. I have lots of dreams I'll be able to chase...passions I can achieve...support. I'm going to come out of this on top. I know it...

So in exactly one month, I'll be making the move...

I'll be back soon to recap our Christmas and 2012 as a whole!


11 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have been following your blog for over a year now and I continue to be amazed at how similar our stories are except I'm 10 years older than you :) My husband left when our little boy was 6 months old and never looked back...involvement but mostly at his convenience so I was left to pick up the pieces of a broken marriage and family and work and raise our son pretty much all alone. It's tough and unfair and it sucks and you wonder why this is all happening to you. Stay strong, have faith, bigger and better things will come to you. Trust and surrender that you are where you need to be and life will bring you an amazing life for you and your daughter. You are doing all the right things...it may not feel like it but I can tell in your blog...I have been where you are and thought the same thoughts as you. Be proud of who you are and how you have handled things. If you ever need to chat, I live in Canada but I am only an e-mail away. You and your daughter are in my prayers xo

Jillian said...

Best of luck to you. I just stumbled across your blog, but from the little bit I've read, you seem like a fighter and this move to your sisters will be a good change.

Mandy said...

I'm not sure how long I've been following but the little bit of time I've been reading you've proven to be a very strong woman! I wish you the best of luck and hope everything starts to work out for you!

Jill St George said...

Hey there hun, not sure if you remember me, but I've been right where you are...down to borrowing the parent's car. In a very similar financial situation I (dreadfully) moved in with my parents. At the time I was SO unhappy. Ultimately, it ended up being a retreat. Try to think of your time at your sister's like that. Now I look back on that experience and think of it as such a blessing. You will too...I promise. In a way, I'm excited for you. Good luck darlin' and email me if you need anything!

My Froley said...

Guess what, life will get a whole lot better from here. When you are surrounded by people supporting you, encouraging you and inspiring you your life will change and good things will come. See this as a turning point in your life. I bet your life will never be the same again, in the best possible way. Once you've hit rock bottom the only way is up. The best of luck to you.

Shannon said...

Thank you for your very honest blog post. I know that there are lots of others out there in the situation and your post will speak out to them, and help them through their situation as well. You seem to be very strong. It will help being surrounded by those that love and care about you. It will get better, just give it some time! Thank you again for sharing. I love reading honest posts like these!

Cyndy said...

Been following you a while and I've shared my story, too...which is very similar to yours. I too, am a lot older than you. My daughter's father started to "check out" on our relationship right before I gave birth. I gave it many chances, but before she turned three...and the relationship became quite ugly, I had to leave. I made three moves in three years. I have always taken care of her completely alone. My nearest family is two hours away. I am blessed to have a steady paying job as a public school teacher, which affords me just enough (to the penny) but often we still go without as her father offers no financial support. She is eight and will be turning nine this summer. I am finally considering moving home, finding a temporary job and setting myself up closer to family. It's been a long time coming. Sometimes, we have to do what is best for us. I believe, God has a plan for us all. We just need to listen to our hearts and be courageous. I'm routing for you! I think this will be a great move for you!

Kallee Mae said...

Good luck with it all! You sound like a strong and amazing woman, so you will be just fine!
Kal
www.kalleemae.blogspot.com

To The River said...

I rememeber I always loved the story how the actress Brenda Blethyn started her acting career in the age of 28, after divorce and work as a stenographer in a bank. I ve seen so many examples of people being so strong and devoted to make a good changes in their lives. U look like a person who can do that very well, good luck and stay the course!

Ashley said...

I am so sorry. It plain sucks when things like this happen. You have always struck me as a strong person and brave. Thanks for your honesty and I hope that now that you will be moving in with your sister that things will only go up from here and you can look back at this point in your life as the turning point. :)

Christa said...

Oh my goodness! I cant believe i am just NOW reading this!
Im so sorry about everything! And i wish i could do or at least say something the would help or comfort you!
Best of luck! Keep your head up. This too shall pass and you'll look back and say "wow. so glad im past all that and grew from it!"

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