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Thursday, August 16, 2012

in this moment...

Being a momma is nothing but amazing.
Pure bliss.
I never imagained being a "single" momma...
But I don't think I'd change it for the life of me.
My girl and I have this crazy bond.


I'm sure having a husband/partner there full time would be amazing.
All the help, the fun, the talks..
I'm sure at the end of the day having someone there is great.
Since my sweets was born,
I've pretty much been alone.
I mean, 2.5 months after she was born I moved in with my parents.
Parents and a husband are two totally different things.
And when you're dealing with a newborn and your marriage falling apart,
The last thing I wanted to do was chat it up with my parents about how dandy life is.

When my Bug was about 9 months we moved out of my parents into our "own" place.
At first it was HARD.
Hard on many levels.
I'd NEVER lived on my own...
Of course I wasn't alone this time...but in a sense, I was.
I was on my own for the first time and a momma.
I didn't get to share all the "first" with someone, the sleepless nights, the "damn we made it through that" moments.

I wouldn't change it.
I say I woudn't change it because it's the only way of being a momma that I know.

Would I have LOVED to have my marriage work out...
YES!
Did I do everything I could possibly do to try and get my marriage and life back...
YES!
Do I think my daughter deserves her mom and dad together. A family...
YES!
But life didn't work that way.

But my girl and I are happy.
Sure there are struggles.
Sure there are times when I sit and reflect on what "should be."
Sure...
Life could be a lot easier.

But I think that goes for anyone's situation.

My girl is a few weeks shy of being TWO.
Which means I'm a few weeks shy of having two years of this momma thing under my belt.
Not to toot my own horn...
But let me just pat myself on the back if you don't mind.
I'm raising a happy, healthy, smart little girl.
For the most part,
alone.

I'm sure a lot of people that would have been put in my situation may have given up.
Passed this sweet little person on to others for "help."
I didn't.
I clung to every minute of her.
Of this life.
I pushed through.
She deserves a good, normal life just like anyone else.
In my eyes she deserves more.
I'll go to the lengths to give her whatever I possibly can.

The other night I posted about our nights.
That night I truly felt happy, at peace.
I've struggled a lot with being alone.
I haven't been a big fan of not having a "person."
But the other night I had this feeling come over me of it being ok.
Maybe I'm meant to be alone.
Maybe ONE day I'll have someone.
But for now,
I think it's supposed to be just her and I.
I'm ok with it all.
I do know, I'll never settle for anything less than I deserve.
So whoever may or may not come into our lives has huge shoes to fill.
High standards.

I feel lots of good things coming our way.
LOTS.
I'm not sure what they are.
But I feel it.
And I'm excited.






16 comments:

This is Our Life said...

You are an inspiring Mommy!

hilljean said...

Aww this is good! You just radiate positive glow. Is that a thing? I dont know if it is but in your pictures you just look happy. You've given yourself and you daughter a really unique set-up and environment to have an extremely close mother daughter relationship.

Chelsea Lennox said...

You are one gorgeous mama! And your little girl is beautiful. New follower from the What I Wore linkup :)

Chelsea Lennox said...

Ooh, and you can find me at www.yourstrulyblog.com :) x

Dani - Diane - ATA Girls said...

She looks so happy you are definitely doing something right. Good for you! Joining from the Friday Blog Hop - stop by and visit http://allthoseartsygirls.blogspot.com/

Heliotrope Tree House said...

So inspiring. Thank you! People tend to look at single mamas with different perspectives, many are unfortunately not positive. I feel exactly the way you do. Everything you wrote, I was nodding in agreement as I read your words. I am raising my daughter alone. 100 percent alone! She just turned eight and we have an incredible bond that will last infinitely. We have a beautiful, happy, full life together, too :) You both look radiant. I feel like my daughter and I both began to truly flourish when I finally was able to give up the fantasies and emotional ties to her Dad...and step into my life...our LIFE...and LIVE it to the fullest. Sending Love and Peace to you. In Solidarity, Cyndy

Diane said...

She's a real sweetie and it looks like you are doing great! Thanks for sharing.
Found you on the friday blog hop
and happy to read your story
Diane
Foster Parent Rescue
Treasuring Grace

Christina & Rebecca said...

new follower from Mommy's mingle..loved your story!!

Kelli Ferre said...

Found you on GFC, you are an inspiration. Thank you! Your newest follower. :)

talesoftheyoungertwin.blogspot.com

Shar Martinez said...

Hi! I'm a new follower from the blog hop! Come visit me whenever you get a chance! :)

Thanks for sharing your story with us! You are beautiful girl! And a great mommy as well!

xoxo ♥ Shar
http://sharmartinez.blogspot.com

Jessica said...

Very inspiring. Congratulations on your upcoming 2 mark of single mommyhood. You have proved how well you can do it.

Following you from the Friday Blog Hop and would love a GFC follow back as well as for you to join in the Weekend Blog Walk blog hop at http://www.athometake2.com. We've got a great group of bloggers linking up every weekend.

Minta's Creations said...

Stopping by from Fridays blog hop. what a cutie your daughter is. Would love a follow and comments.
http://mintascreations.blogspot.com/

Annie (Lady M) x said...

Hiya, I found your blog on 'blog hops everday' and I am now following you.

I am in the same place as you - young daughter and single. But, like you say, it can be a really rewarding place, and the happier you are with yourself, the more likley you are to meet someone new to complement your life. Hurray!

P.S. Hope you can stop by my place too!

http://www.thedayafteryesterday.co.uk/

pretty little things said...

what a cute she is!! just discovered your blog and I love it! I'm your newest follower - hope you can check me out too! xo

http://allthingsprettyandlittle.blogspot.com/

Karen @ BakingInATornado said...

We all just do the best we can, no matter who is or isn't in our lives. It's the attitude I commend you for, I think that benefits your beautiful daughter the most! New follower from the hop! Karen @ BakingInATornado.

Sharmia said...

This is my story! I'm glad I found your blog!

www.thesearch4therealme.com

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